deeper

i remember in highschool, i had some pride concerning how "deep" of a thinker i was. i did indeed think a lot - probably more than i do now. it led me to develop certain "truths of life" that are wrong and unhealthy for the soul.

one 'truth' i held on to dearly was that the purpose of life was for us to be happy. i believed that everyone has this innate desire to obtain happiness. it's what drives us - it is the reason why we want to protect our loved ones, why we study so hard, why we get up each morning, etc.

in retrospect, i realize that i enjoyed this type of thinking - observing things and concluding with certain 'truths'. but i wouldn't stop there, i would continue thinking deeper and deeper about the subject, observing and analyzing, attempting to reach that more profound truth that would correctly explain the observations i had made.

i took pride in the fact that i thought so deeply about these things - depth had become the object of my thoughts and its very purpose.

and how destructive that was.

here's an analogy i heard that explains why that thought process is so destructive

"no matter how deep you dig, you wont' find the treasure if you're digging at the wrong spot."