before i go to sleep

one of my readers commented that my posts are too short/vague/secretive. i decided not to expose too much of myself online sometime in college but i guess i should elaborate more to keep my blog interesting. hahahah

on loving the Lord with my mind.

Matthew 22:36~38

³⁶"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" ³⁷Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' ³⁸This is the first and greatest commandment.

I think my early spiritual journey during 1, 2 years of college was when i learned to love the Lord with my heart and soul. that's not to say that i had such a pure, flawless love for him, but that my love for the Lord was very emotional, affectionate, and from the soul. I remember times of being moved to tears during times of prayer and worship. but emotions come and go. when emotions are not rooted deeply in a certain truth that does not change, the emotion eventually goes away.

near the end of college to post college, i realize that i've been learning to love the Lord with my mind. and this very topic "love the Lord with my mind" had been a very confusing topic until recently, when it's really quite simple. it's simply thinking and meditating on the Truth and truths of God, and discovering reasons to delight in it, which eventually leads to love, worship, adoration, gladness, and thankfulness towards God.

i'm thankful that God taught me this.. now my worship and love for God is not based solely on emotions. it's rooted in the Truth and truths about God that are found in the Bible. His inexplicable and inexhaustible grace, his unlimited knowledge and the perfect execution of his plans, how his words do not return to him empty but fulfills the purpose for which it was sent.. mm more and more.

so now, my worship and love for God does not waver, depending on my emotions.. because it is rooted in the truth of who God is... but i must say, i sometimes wonder if possibly, my heart has grown so cold to God that it refuses to be moved to tears. i kinda miss crying due to Godly conviction and emotions.